Wine: Because Kids

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Dark, dry, and decadent. Or Dry, light, and decadent.

It’s how I like my wine. Don’t offer me a moscato or something fruity. Give me something with spice. Give me something with a hint of pepper, oak, or even vanilla. Give me a Malbec or a Sangiovese. Give me a Grenache or a Petite Syrah.

Oh, who am I kidding? Give me anything.

I like my wine dry, but I also love it for my good health. The doctor does say that a glass of red wine a night is good for you. I think it has something to do with heart health, but I won’t lie: I heard “Drinking red wine at night is good for you,” and didn’t hear much else. I’ve always been a delightful student, so it wasn’t difficult for me to get started on that homework assignment each night – with extra credit.

I love my red wine, and I love that it’s good for my health. Of course, it’s only good (for you) in moderation. While we might all agree it’s really good in excess, we can also agree that feeling only lasts a few hours before the part about hating life and never drinking red wine again comes to light.

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Moderation, medically defined, is something like one glass of red wine per night for women. No, not a glass large enough to fit the entire bottle of wine into. That’s new math…new math I could definitely get into.

Excuse me while I throw in a few of the boring medically related facts here. I promise I’ll be quick. “Antioxidants in red wine called polyphenols may help protect the lining of blood vessels in your heart,” and “Resveratrol might be a key ingredient in red wine that helps prevent damage to the blood vessels, reduces low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol (the “bad” cholesterol) and prevents blood clots,” is what Mayoclinic.org has to say. They also say some other profound things about red wine and all its heart healthy glory. See? I’m not just making this stuff up.

More importantly, red wine is good for your heart health in another manner – a lesser known manner. It makes moms better and keeps kids from being locked in rooms under the stairs for extended games of “Stay there until an owl brings you an acceptance letter into Hogwarts, honey. And mommy and daddy will be VERY disappointed if you get into any house but Gryffindor,” in many homes (Joking…please don’t call CPS on any HP lovers with kids).

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How, precisely, does red wine make moms better? I thought you might ask.

It Gives Us Something to Look Forward To

I’m not saying we don’t have plenty to look forward to, such as dates nights and vacation, and school, and the day they turn 18 and go to college. I’m saying that moms need something each and every day to look forward to, and the moment you drop them off at school at 8 am is too early for the good times to peak. A glass of red wine is a well-deserved treat at the end of the day when the kids are in bed and sleeping, the house is clean, and it’s time to relax.

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It’s Motivational

Red wine motivates me like nothing else. It motivates me to work hard, since I like the expensive stuff. It motivates me and my husband to get the kids to bed on time each night and the house straightened up so we can sit down and pour a glass. It also motivates me to take my 33-year-old rear to the gym every single day, since I know I’m at an age where my good genes and magic metabolism could quit on me at any point. Red wine also motivates me from losing my ever-loving mind on my kids when they are delightful assholes on occasion – there’s no wine in prison, people (and orange isn’t my color).

It Keeps Marriages Healthy

Y’all probably don’t need to hear the TMI of our marriage, but it’s good. My husband is sexy…that’s all. But, he’s even sexier when I’ve had a glass of red wine. We laugh more. We spend more quality time together. We commiserate more. We have more fun. We go to bed earlier. All I’m saying is red wine is an encourager of good, healthy marriages and all the calories a good, healthy marriage can burn.

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It Keeps Me Sane

Every night we put the kids to bed, straighten up, shower, and sit down with a couple glasses of red. We binge watch Netflix or we sit on our deck or lanai and just chill. It’s good. Whatever we do, it’s our every-night routine and I love it. The day is all-consumed with kids and their needs and wants, and it’s nice for us to have that time at the end of the night to sit, relax, and enjoy. Sure, we could do it without wine, but that’s boring.

Do you prefer to spend your evenings wine-ing down with your spouse or girlfriends? What’s your vino of choice or if you don’t drink wine, what’s your poison favorite thirst quencher?

(Disclaimer: Alcohol is not for those under 21, those pregnant, recovering alcoholics, or anyone driving, operating heavy machinery, or doing anything else dangerous. It’s meant to be consumed in moderation at all times. I am in no way encouraging excessive drinking or unhealthy use of wine or any other type of alcoholic beverage.)

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