so…what’s the plan?

So, what’s the plan?

The four words I have come to loathe more than any other, and the fastest way to earn an immediate no from me. I’m tired of making all the plans. I’m tired of organizing everything. I’m tired of always being the go-to for planning all the things in life. Every holiday, birthday, event. I’m exhausted.

There was a time when I adored being the planner. Organizing parties and events and fun holiday adventures and vacations, but that time in my life is over. I didn’t mind doing those things when I had time. Back when our four kids were small and didn’t have activities, practices, games, school events, ceremonies, rehearsals, and their own social lives (read – boyfriends coming over, friends sleeping over, needing to be driven to and picked up from fun places with their friends), I loved planning things.

Because back then, the things I planned were the things that kept us busy.

Now? Now we are busy all the time. Someone constantly needs a ride somewhere, or there are friends over with the kids, and there are four science projects going on at once and multiple school. And we are busy all the time just surviving the children’s schedules…without including even a fun activity or two. We are tired, and planning and organizing extra things is not enjoyable or even remotely at the top of my list of priorities.

I’m in my season of please invite me to things, but don’t ask me to plan anything.

I love to have fun.

I love all the holiday activities.

But I don’t have the desire to plan them.

I don’t want to organize a holiday event. I want to be invited to one so that I can go and have fun and bring cocktails or something and help clean up at the end, but I don’t want to make the plan. I don’t want to worry about anyone but myself and my family. I don’t want 27 texts from people asking me what we are doing or where we are going or what the plan is.

I do not want to make the plan.

I am tired. Just getting through a regular day is so exhausting to me right now that the mere thought of returning a phone call I received 5 days ago is so absolutely overwhelming that I can’t do it. It will take me 3 minutes, yet I cannot even call this poor person back. I know I need to. And I’ve done 400 million things I didn’t even *need* to do in the meantime, but I can’t do it.

I need to respond to an email and a few text messages that are embarrassingly old at this point…but I’m so mentally over doing all the things that I don’t want to and I haven’t.

My mental load is on overload, and I know it’s just this particular season of parenting four kids with exceptionally busy lives.

I’m in my season of not making plans. I’m in my season of accepting invitations. Because my mental and emotional loads are just too much right now.

I make the plan and organize everything for a family of six, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I haven’t the desire to organize or plan for everyone else, too.

Don’t take it personally…or do. I’m too tired to care.