me.

Seven years

That’s how long ago tiffanyraiford.com was launched, and that’s also how long it’s been since I’ve introduced myself to new followers and subscribers. My email list has grown significantly over the past few months, so it’s time for me to rectify that.

Who am I?

I’m Tiffany. And I’ll tell you immediately that I am a wife, a mom, and a writer. Those are the three things that define me to me. My husband is my high school sweetheart. We met on November 2, 2001, and I knew that night I’d marry him. He asked me to marry him on May 23, 2003. We were married on May 15, 2005. Our kids are Addison, Ava, Charlotte, and Carter (in that order). They are all remarkable, kind, funny kids, and we are infinitely proud of them – especially when we hear about the behaviors and antics of other kids their age that other parents are dealing with…we are beyond proud of ours and the choices they make!

My husband and kids are the most important part of my life – all day, every day, always. They are my number one priority in life, and they are the greatest gifts I’ve ever received. But that’s not all, and I figured a Q&A style blog post is necessary.

What’s your favorite season?

Fall. But, honestly, September 1 – December 25. December 26 – August 31…I’m indifferent. It’s fine, but I don’t care for the non-holiday seasons. Summer is gross and hot and humid and there are so many bugs and so much sweat…it’s just not for me. Oh, and I prefer rainy days. I think I was meant to live in Seattle.

Ocean or Pool?

Oh, pool. Hands down. I do not care for the beach. Sand is not my favorite. Salt water is not my favorite. I love to look at the ocean – from an outdoor oceanfront table with a cocktail at the Surf and Sand Resort in SoCal.

Favorite Holiday?

Christmas Eve. I love the entire Christmas season, but Christmas Eve is, by far, the best ‘holiday’ of the year because it includes all of my favorite things. Not leaving the house. Pajamas all day. Prepping all the good stuff for Christmas Day, making Christmas cookies with the kids, a long morning walk with my family, a family Christmas movie after dinner, and early bedtime. No socializing, no phones, nothing. Just togetherness and memories made in our favorite place – home.

Favorite Vacation?

I can’t choose. If forced, I’d say Hawaii. Craig and I spent 10 days on the North Shore of O’ahu, and it was spectacular. But, we also started spending a quick night or two in NYC 3-4 times a year after we got married (except for COVID years because no one wanted to deal with that city’s nonsense then) and it’s like a second home. We’ve gotten to know the staff at our favorite hotel and our favorite restaurants, we have a routine there, we have all of our favorite places – and God knows not one of them includes anything in, near, or around Times Square and the tourists there. But spending a week on the shores of North Carolina every summer with the kids is peaceful. 30A is another of our favorites – and probably the kids’ actual favorite – and Orange County, California, is forever my go-to favorite place because of the restaurants, the views, and the ambiance. I can’t decide. Too many to choose from. I’m indecisive. Until I am not.

Favorite Color?

Yellow – but it’s not my color.

Favorite Food?

Burrata. Literally…any dish that includes burrata.

Sweet or Savory?

Savory – always. If you see me craving something sweet, understand my mood is not good, my attitude is not good, and leave me alone.

Favorite Meal of the Day?

Burrata.

Oh. You mean actual meal of the day not food to stick in my mouth throughout the day. Okay, brunch. I’d rather eat a large brunch around 11ish than any other meal. It’s kind of what I do, so I’m not typically hungry for dinner. If I didn’t have five other people in my home, dinner would probably be a small salad and a decadent appetizer or two every night.

Favorite Thing to Do for Fun?

Read. Travel. Rest. Workout.

Who Is Your Spirit Animal?

Moira Rose.

If you could meet anyone, dead or alive, who would you choose?

Um…no one. I don’t want to meet anyone. Honestly. Not a big fan of people.

What makes you sad?

Ummmm…competitive people. No one should compete with anyone but themselves. I do not understand why people compare themselves to others. No two people are the same, no one is on the same path, no one has the same dream, no one wants the same things, and no one really cares about other people’s lives because they’re too busy focusing on their own lives. Happy people don’t compete, one-up, or try to outdo others. They’re just happy for other people.

Oh, and bad parents. We hear some stories around here, and they’re heartbreaking. Parents who try to live vicariously through their kids. Parents who don’t set a good example. Parents whose poor behavior is recognized by their kids – and talked about by their kids. Parents who care more about how it looks than how it really is. Parents who are not there for their kids. Parents who think their kids are perfect and do nothing wrong and every single thing is someone else’s fault – what a detriment to kids when they become adults and haven’t grown up.

Families who don’t vacation together. Listen, I love to spend time vacationing with friends, as a group with our friends and all of our kids, etc. But the thing I love the most is a vacation with just my husband and our kids – no one else invited. It’s the best quality time, and it’s always my favorite trip. I feel sad for families who always have to have others with them and cannot spend time together.

Oh, yes, sweating. Unless I’m working out, sweating makes me sad. Like opening the door from my home to my garage and immediately sweating in the half second it takes to get into my car. That makes me sad.

One more…people who think they can cook, but they cannot.  

First thing you notice about other people?

Wellllll…it was their smile. Now it’s mostly their lip fillers.

What would you change about yourself?

I’d like to be more patient. Have less road rage. Not find people so disappointing and simple. Alas, I made the executive decision recently to not bother working on me when no one else bothers working on them – decision inspired by the asshole who decided to turn the wrong way down the aisle at Publix and almost hit me and then had the audacity to give me the finger when he was the one going the wrong direction in a one-way aisle. I’ll not be working on being a better person when, clearly, no one else is.

What do you dislike?

Mean girls. Knew them growing up – probably was one growing up – assumed all mean girls grow and mature over the years and become better adults and then realized most of them are still insecure teen girls on the inside who never grew up and continue to mistreat people to feel better about their own shortcomings. It’s classless.

Pet peeves?

People who use the left lane to meander along and disrupt the flow  of traffic.

People who don’t respect other people’s feelings.

Narcissists.

People who don’t use seasoning or flavor.

Complainers.

Repeating myself.

Hypocrisy.

Opportunists. I witnessed a lot of this in the past year, and it’s just gross. A “what’s in it for me, how do I benefit, what can I get out of it,’ mindset and lack of good intentions, characters, and morals.

Parents giving children stupid names and or/stupid spellings of normal names.

Favorite outfit (not comfy clothes)?

Oh, easy. I’m not an overly trendy person, so my favorite ensemble hasn’t changed much in the past 20 years. A really great blazer, a fab pair of jeans, and a pair of Manolos. Throw on some oversize sunglasses, a red lip, and voila.

Unpopular opinion?

Cruises are not great. The food is horrible. They’re not luxurious, and being cooped up on a ship is not my favorite – but we’ve been on a bunch because it’s an easy group vacation and I’ll take one for the team when I have to. But do not ever, ever, ever, ask me to get on a Carnival Cruise Ship. We did it one time and yuck…they are the middle of nowhere interstate exit park outside your room and hope you don’t get murdered in your sleep motels of cruise ships.

I say this knowing that the twins are also dying to go on a cruise because their sisters have been on several and “it’s not fair” that they haven’t and we will probably suck it up and do a quick one with them at some point (not on carnival!). *sigh*

Favorite thing in the world?

Compliments about our children. Nothing makes me happier than hearing others say such lovely things about our kids. How gracious and kind and sweet Addy is, how she’s a breath of fresh air because she doesn’t participate in dramatics. How funny and smart Ava is, and how adults just love her endlessly. How funny and sweet and thoughtful the twins are, and how helpful they are. It brings me such joy, and it makes me so proud…that they’re just like their dad and not like me!

How many states have you been to?

Ugh. Math. Okay. Give me a few minutes to figure it out. 41.

Do you have weird quirks?

I am a walking weird quirk.

In all seriousness, I’d say probably the fact that I immediately run the vacuum cleaner I keep in my garage in my car every time I park. Messy cars give me such anxiety. I can’t drive if it’s messy.

Are you high maintenance?

Yes, very.

Red or blue?

Red.

Last time you cried?

Saturday when we went to watch our nieces play in their volleyball tournament. I was conversing with a friend when the other team served and the ball hit me right in the face. Instant tears that wouldn’t stop. And my face hurts, still.

Comedy, horror, or documentary?

Books. But also, documentaries. If you haven’t watched Class Action Park – you’re missing out.

The one lesson you hope your kids listen to?

It doesn’t matter what other people think and those who dislike you are going to dislike you no matter what because they don’t want to like you – so who cares what they think? Your goal is to be happy, not to make other people happy.

Best life lesson?

BOUNDARIES.

Set them. Stick to them. Don’t worry about who you upset when you create boundaries because the people upset by your boundaries are the reason you needed to set them in the first place.

Best skincare advice?

As my stunningly beautiful grandmother – who looked decades younger and healthier than her 102 years – taught me…less is more. Cleanse, moisturize, and sunscreen. No complex skincare routine required. And being that I’m 40 with flawless skin, I can personally attest to her advice. My skincare routine is like 2 minutes & I don’t feel it’s conceited to say I have gorgeous skin. Oh, drink a lot of water & eat well, too.

Snakes or spiders?

Of, FFS. Neither. Jesus. But I’d rather encounter a spider than a snake if we have to be in the same general vicinity as one another.

Beer or wine?

Wine. Beer is disgusting. No sweet wine. Dry. So dry. Like my sense of humor.

Do you believe in second chances?

Absolutely. But I do not believe in third chances. When you mess up and someone tells you that you messed up, you apologize and use your actions to prove you’ve learned a lesson and respect the wishes of others. Mistakes happen, and everyone deserves a chance to learn, grow, and change.

Third chances are a no go, though. Repeating past behaviors/mistakes is no longer a mistake, it’s a choice and it shows a lack of care and respect.

What makes you unique?

Many things, but probably the fact that I have no problem being disliked and/or not fitting in. I don’t live to please others, and I just…don’t really care that much.

Who is your hero?

My husband. He is the greatest person I know despite his snoring and aggressive breathing while he’s sleeping. He’s the greatest husband, father, and friend. He is genuine and generous, and he proves it daily with his actions as well as his words. He cares more about making us happy and spending quality time with us than anything. He’s kind and smart. Loving and funny. He’s just a good person – even when he’s keeping me up with his breathing.

When did you first feel like an adult?

I don’t feel like an adult? Sometimes, I look at my husband and say, “Omg, we are in charge. We are the parents. We are adults. Why don’t I know more things?”

What is your guilty pleasure?

I will buy a box of triple chunk brownie mix, make the batter, and eat it with a spoon without even bothering to bake it. God, it’s so good.

What would your warning label say?

I had to ask my husband, and he said, “It would say don’t talk to me, but that’s also the least controversial warning I can think of at the moment.” He’s not wrong.

What is your definition of success?

Living in the moment with a true sense of gratitude. Let me delve a bit deeper to give you a better understanding of what I mean – you can accomplish anything, have a ton of money, have everything you’ve ever wanted in life, and exceeded all of your expectations and crushed all of your goals and still not be happy if all you want is more. You can’t be happy until you are happy with everything you have right now – so much of what you have right now is what you’ve been working for, wishing for, and hoping for throughout your life – yet I see so many people who seemingly have it all but are absolutely miserable because they can’t be happy with what and who they have. They want more.

It’s absolutely amazing to want more – you should want more. But you also have to be present in the moment and happy with what you currently have while making new goals and working toward a bigger goal. Here’s a hint – happiness is found at home. You should want to be with your spouse and kids more than anyone else in the world. Always.

Whose death hit you hardest?

My grandmother. She died in 2021, two weeks before her 102^nd birthday. No one saw it coming. She’s always been the picture of perfect health, wildly active, so sharp and witty, humorous and fun, beautiful and gracious. And she exudes such class. Losing her broke my heart.

What’s your least favorite saying?

If you wanted to, you would.

I want to do a lot of things, and I don’t, because I have other things that take precedence. Taking care of my kids, their sports and activities and educational needs, their health, their lives, resting and taking a break when my body is begging me to slow down, juggling four kids and a husband and a house and a puppy and a life and all the other things – I want to, but I don’t always have time.

How has your perspective changed over time?

“You can do anything, but not everything,” is something that’s been hitting home to me a lot over the past year. I’ve personally experienced this in being wildly successful in my career, but feeling absolutely subpar, falling short, and not being the mom and wife I wanted to be. I learned that hard way that you can either excel in your career or you can excel at home, but you cannot excel at both. You can be mediocre at both. But not great at both. You cannot give enough attention to one or the other to make it meaningful. Something suffers – and it’s usually your family.

What is your favorite quote?

Have the courage to be disliked. – by someone, I’m sure.

Having the courage to be disliked means you’re living life for you. That’s power, babes.