lately.

Life lately

Where do I even begin? It’s officially the first week of July, which means it’s the beginning of the second half of the year – or as I like to call it…the best half of the year.

Gator football

The ‘ber months

The holiday season

The time of year when I absolutely come alive and positively thrive.

Even despite my intense dislike of the first half of the year (what even is the point of January – August?), 2025 has been so good to us. I don’t know how to explain it so it makes sense, but we have found that we are busier than we’ve ever been (ain’t no busy like four kids in four different sports all at the same time busy) while simultaneously having more downtime than ever.

I realize this doesn’t make sense. I promise I do…but it does in my brain, so here we are.

The kids’ sports seasons have been exhausting. Just so exhausting. The months of April and May almost killed us. So many academic ceremonies and events and things to do and attend and prepare for. It’s self-inflicted though, because we did raise four academic achievers who are all honored at every honor roll ceremony, state test score recognition, sports banquet, and academic achiever event. It’s our fault for raising overachievers…I mean who thought out of four kids they’d all be excellent students?! (I am proud, I swear)

Ava finished her 8^th grade year. The twins finished their elementary school career. Addy finished her junior year.

Don’t get me started on that one. She won’t set foot on high school campus for another class ever again – just sports. She’s a full-time college girl now, and she’ll graduate next year with her AA and her high school diploma at the same time. Her senior yearbook photos are scheduled for this month. Her senior photos are scheduled with a photographer while we’re traveling – because why do senior photos in Florida when you can book a photographer out of state and do something special?

Did I cry on the last day of school for the kids?

Yes, yes I did. And I cried when Addison’s official high school graduation date was announced. I cried like a baby on her last day of Camp Rah Rah. She’s been going since she was five, and teaching the past four years as a high school cheerleader. It’s over. We are quickly coming up on her last football season as a high school cheerleader. Everything feels so bittersweet and so final and so emotional – I cry a lot these days. Just the most random bouts of emotion hit me. A song on the radio. A photo online. A moment with our girl. A reminder that this is her last summer vacation as a high school student. Realizing she turns 17 in a few weeks.

Everything makes me sad. Everything is going by too quickly. Everything is emotional right now. Next 10 months are going to wreck me.

But, on a bright note, we’ve had more date nights. More travel. More family days. More slow days by the pool and lazy game nights around the coffee table. More family nights watching some of the best documentaries. More books read, more walks together, more moments that bring me joy.

I’ve also realized that I really miss writing. It’s been three years since I retired from writing professionally, and too long since I’ve sat down with my computer and written just because. I want to – but oftentimes our schedule has been too much or focusing on quiet moments has been more important. But I miss writing. I miss sharing my very random thoughts. I miss putting my thoughts onto paper and sharing them with a bunch of strangers on the internet who really give zero fucks, yet I’m not bothered by that.

Writing has always been such a big part of my life, but even the things that we find such joy in doing oftentimes take a backseat to the things we love the most. These past few years have been all about being mom for me. Making pancakes in the morning for my crew. Filling snackle boxes for flights and walking the dog and playing card games and teaching myself to cook elaborate meals because I’ve always wanted to learn. Reading all the books because there are so many good ones I need to read.

But I want to make the effort to sit down and really pour my soul back into writing. I won’t force myself when I don’t want to or don’t feel like it, but I will when I have something to say and the mood strikes. It’s been too long since I’ve given myself the time to do this, and it’s time to rectify that situation.

I’m officially approaching 42 – only two months until my birthday (yeeeesssss) and I’m in such a good place. My anxiety is at an all-time low. My family is amazing. My home is still where my heart is. I’m in the best shape of my life physically and emotionally and mentally (unless I’m driving…still hate every motherfucker on the road and it shows).

I credit that to all the changes we’ve made. Focusing on the quiet. Slowing down. Scheduling downtime. Not filling the calendar. Saying no to invitations when they don’t fit our schedule or our particular level of exhaustion (just because we might not have anything else going on doesn’t mean that we want to have something going on, you know?). Instead of date nights out with friends, we cook gorgeous meals while the kids are down the street at one house and the adults are at another – we wear our pajamas and curl up on the couch with blankets and a fire while the gentlemen smoke cigars and old fashioneds and we watch documentaries or discuss our books or new recipes and we are home by 9 pm and in bed not long after that.

I am so fulfilled and so at peace, and I think that’s why I’m ready to sit down and begin writing again.

So, no promises…but perhaps more writing.