charleston

Thirteen.

Thirteen weeks of four kids back in school for their senior, freshman, and sixth grade years. Thirteen weeks of spending Friday nights in the stands watching our daughter cheer for the last time. Thirteen weeks of five-nights a week golf lessons and twice weekly midday golf matches. Thirteen weeks of five-nights a week tennis practice and twice weekly tennis matches.

Thirteen weeks of homework. Thirteen weeks of late nights and early mornings and hectic schedules.

I was ready for our girls’ trip to Charleston. Four nights in a beautiful waterfront home with eleven women I have the absolute most spectacular time with…celebrating my best friend’s upcoming 40^th birthday and my other sweet friend’s bridal shower with a family girls’ trip

What’s ironic about that statement is that – well, two things are ironic, but give me a moment – is that I never enjoyed a girls’ trip. I missed my husband and never had a good time. I actually left a two-night girls’ trip a few years ago after everyone else went to bed on the second night and drove myself home at 1 in the morning with two of my girlfriends because we all missed our husbands/beds/homes and we were done.

It turns out, I love girls’ trips in my 40s. More specifically, with this group of women. There’s no constant rush because every moment has to be filled with busy-ness and activity. Everyone wants to take their time getting ready with getting ready cocktails and music and there’s no judgement about how long it’s going to take me to get ready or why everyone needs so much time. There’s outfit exchanging and makeup help and hair help and cocktails and Taylor Swift and mirror selfies and so much laughter.

There are puzzles and pajamas and lazy mornings enjoying our coffee and the view. There’s documentaries and Sunday brunch at gorgeous restaurants and downtown shopping trips and beautiful, thoughtful, lovely meals and accoutrements. On this particular trip, we even hired a private chef to make dinner for us one evening at the house. It was absolutely lovely. This is a group of women who can have fun doing absolutely anything whether it’s walking the beach and lingering over Sunday Brunch at Church and Union enjoying our mimosas and conversation or sitting around the house in comfies putting puzzles together, reading, and just being together – it’s just easy and enjoyable.

The other ironic thing is that this was a family girls’ weekend, and I’m not family.

And that brings me to a whole new level of appreciation. Appreciation for the people who walk unexpectedly into your life, and suddenly everything is better. Eight years ago, my two oldest girls became friends with two new girls at school. Those girls are sisters. I met their mom, and we hit it off immediately. Fast forward eight years, and her entire family has adopted me…they are some of my favorite people. Their kids are my kids’ best friends. They are our best friends. Their parents have become my own children’s extra grandparents – calling to say they’re picking the kids up from school to take them to lunch and shopping or to dinner or to play.

Every important moment is spent together, but no one is upset when I’m too tired or not in the mood to socialize. No one is offended if I decline an invitation because I don’t feel the need to occupy every second of my time with activity – I enjoy my life and don’t mind the simple, quiet moments with my husband and kids at home. It took me a long time to realize so many people need to fill their lives with constant activity and be busy all the time because they are deeply unhappy and looking for ways to distract from that.

Thirteen weeks of being busy with the kids’ sporting events is a long time, and I was ready for that girls’ trip, and it did not disappoint.

Did I come home more exhausted than before I left? Of course! I had a fucking blast – and I’m tired. But I am also thankful. Thankful that these women (and their husbands and sons and children) walked into my life and embraced me, my husband, and my children, and never let go. They appreciate my adorable quirks – like buying all new stemware to leave at a rental home because I refuse to drink out of short, thick, or stemless glasses and/or being the most high-maintenance bitch they know – they’d do anything for my kids, and they love me. And I love them.

This is a season all about being thankful – and I just cannot express how thankful I am for these people in our lives. For showing up to grab our kids to keeping them after school in their office and making them snacks and for dropping off emotional support vegetables and cute homemade cards for our middle daughter when she has a hard day or get well baskets when the kids are sick and letting themselves in with cocktails and baked goods just because…every day in some little way or another, they show up for us. The big moments, the small moments, the mundane moments. There is no judgment (though there is a tremendous amount of mockery).

These women and their families fill not just my cup but the cups of my entire family, and nothing is more important.

In this season of thanks, I hope they know that I love them all so much, and I appreciate them – and each of my other girlfriends and their families, too.