Forty-three.
First and foremost:
Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday to my favorite person in the world – my husband. He’s 43 today, and it’s the 25th year I’ve had the pleasure of wishing him a happy birthday on his day.
Second…let’s talk about date night.
Craig and I had date night on Friday night. It was our first actual date night that involved a full meal in a while. Not because we haven’t had date nights – we have. But because most of our date nights are more Tiffany-centric and involve one hour, an upscale, dimly lit bar, shared appetizers, and cocktails.
Because:
1 – I don’t care about entrees. Gimme all the apps.
2 – I’m old.
3 – I don’t really like to leave my house.
4 – I’m tired.
5 – My husband is a better cook and a better cocktail creator than any restaurant chef/bartender…even though he’s an engineer.
And because time is of the essence, my friends. Free time? What’s that? We have four kids who are all involved in about 57304 things, two teenage girls with very nice boyfriends who are always over (which means we have to be home), and we don’t get to enjoy many evenings at home.
And also because 200 percent of our conversations go like this:
Craig – You read The Housemaid, right?
Me – Yes, it was my first Frieda McFadden read a few years ago, and I’ve read all her books since.
Craig – Do you want to go on date night with me and see the movie?
Me – YES.
Craig – How about tonight at 7:45?
Me – No, that’s too late. It’s a Thursday.
Craig – How about tomorrow at 7:45?
Me – Honey, no. 7:45 is so late to START a movie! In public. And it’s a Friday. We spent all football season out on Friday nights watching Addy cheer. You know I like to order dinner and stay home for family night on Fridays.
Craig – Fair. How about Sunday at 2?
Me – You know it’s going to rain on Sunday, and I don’t like Sunday plans or leaving the house when it’s raining.
Craig…
Trust me when I say I can find a valid reason to never leave my house ever.
So, where was I?
Right – date night.
So, Friday night, we enjoyed a lovely date night. Just the two of us at a lovely restaurant with good food and a great wine list. At 5:45, they literally asked if we were there for happy hour. I’m like, no, bro, happy hour is when I get home and put on my comfy clothes, and this handsome man right here makes me a dark, bitter, decadent espresso martini with brown sugar simple syrup in our lounge.
But I digress…finding time and energy for date night when you’re very old, very tired, you’ve been together way more than half your life, and you have a busy schedule of driving kids to and fro (and your wife is a boring ass homebody) is challenging – so here are my tips for making date night work in the midst of being old and whatnot.
Early Reservations
When we made our reservations for dinner Friday night, they had 7:45 and 5:45. In all honesty, I’d have been very happy with a 5 pm reservation, but 5:45 had to do. Had I no choice, I’d have dealt with a 6 pm reservation. I’d go so far as 6:30. After that, find a different restaurant or we’re staying home.
Seven fucking forty-five? Are you KIDDING ME? I want to be home by 7:45.
Make early reservations.
In fact, say no to dinner reservations.
Book a brunch date.
Buy Something New to Wear
At the risk of sounding like exactly who I am, which is high-maintenance and materialistic, the fastest way to get me out on a date is to encourage me to order something new. A new dress. A new pair of shoes. I don’t dress up often because I’m a glorified limo driver for my kids, but I looooooooove to dress up. So, if I have something new to wear, I’m going to say yes to the date. Or even suggest it. Either way.
Order yourself something new and fabulous. You’ll suddenly find the time and energy to go on a date.
Don’t Make it a Production
This is my favorite. It’s easy to forget that date night does not have to be a production. You don’t have to make a reservation and spend hours getting ready. You can find an hour and make the most of it. Do you even want to know how often my husband and I do this?
We are famous for sitting at a tennis match or a golf match, watching our kids, and deciding on the fly to order the kids dinner after the match, change into something more appropriate, and go out for apps and drinks at our favorite restaurant. We sit at the bar and enjoy one another’s company for an hour or so, and then we come home.
Easy, fun, and fabulous.
End the Evening at Home
There are few things in life I dislike more than being exhausted, so the best date nights are the ones that end with us at home on our couch in pajamas, picking a movie to watch while the kids are asleep. Take me out to dinner, that’s fine – but bring me home early and let’s end the night on our own terms.
Date night – it is an absolute must in our marriage, but we don’t feel the need to conform to any social norms. We’ll do it our way, please and thank you. Our date night ‘rules’ make it easy for me to relax, enjoy, and have fun with my husband.
The only thing I need to worry about on date night is whether the bar has my favorite champagne.
Tiffany Raiford 