What’s going on 2026?
I turned 42 in September, which means with math and stuff, I’ve lived a lot of Januarys and Februarys. And they’ve all lasted approximately 700 years each. Seriously. Over the course of my entire life, January and February have always felt longer than the entire remainder of the year. Two months feel longer than the other ten months. I don’t make the rules, but you know what I’m talking about.
Except this year.
This year, January and February have flown by. And I’m not going to lie…I’m panicking a little about that because if the slowest months of the year just flew by in a half a second, what are the ten fastest months of the year about to do to me?
*making a mental note to send my husband into the attic for the Christmas decorations next week, since it will be Christmas by then.
January and February are the worst months (please – prove me wrong). They’re long. They’re cold. They’re boring because the cold is only fun when it’s filled with holiday cheer and beautiful décor. Not brown lawns so crispy they rival only our 80s bangs after a hit of Aquanet and the overwhelming feeling of exhaustion we all have after living life at full speed thanks to spring break, Easter, 200 end of the school year award banquets, ceremonies, sports banquets, graduations, parties, and last day of school prep, 79 summer vacations, back to school shopping, back to school nights, meet the teacher nights, parent nights, fall sports, football season, and making holiday magic nonstop from October to December 25.
We’re all tired, dead on the inside, and so entirely anti-social that we cannot even function if someone outside of our immediate family attempts eye contact. That’s what January and February feel like. Endless days of cold weather, rest, and trying to beat our bodies back into shape after completely overdoing it for months on end.
Sooo…what the fuck is happening? It’s February 23, Christmas was yesterday, graduation is tomorrow, and I haven’t had time to reset myself before the busiest season of life begins (parents, you know what I’m talking about). How are the slow months over already, because I AM NOT READY. I need a do-over. One more chance. More time. Pleaseeeeeeee…I am begging you Father Time.
Time doesn’t stop for anyone
While I’m over here crying myself to sleep because I’m not mentally prepared to be sideline social again (oh, who am I kidding…I make sure we sit far away from other people and make no friends) because the 59 days that I was supposed to mentally prepare myself for that passed too quickly, time does not stand still. It doesn’t stop. It doesn’t care that I’m tired. It doesn’t care that I’m not ready to go back to being busy all the time, constantly. Time does what it wants. It’s that bitch. Time does not care that it’s interrupting my afternoon naps.
This time is wild
I like to call this time of year the parenting Olympics. Football games are three days a week. Sports six days a week. Field trips. Science fair. Speeches. Award ceremonies for the end of the school year and all sports. End-of-year parties and events. Now we add graduation and all that this entails to the calendar. Oh, did I forget to add all the campus visits and college stuff? There’s spring break to plan, we have three kids with March birthdays, our wedding anniversary in May, not to mention Mother’s Day and summer vacations to plan, and let us not forget that we have senior prom, too.
We also have a busy social life, and we do like to sleep at night.
This time of year is the wild, wild west. It’s constant uniform washing, practices, and quick meals. It’s late nights and early mornings, and definitely no afternoon naps because these school days end at the most disrespectful time of day. It’s busy. There’s little time for anything outside of the kids’ needs this time of year, and that’s all right.
Listen, this time of year is hard, and that’s all right. Here’s how I’m going to suggest we all get through this.
Accept the guilt
Everything you do is going to make you feel guilty this time of year. Getting your hair done every month? Two hours in which I should be relaxing, but instead feel guilty about what I’m not doing in the moment. Late to a game because of a practice pick-up? Guilty for missing kick-off, but it happens. Forgot to order the right kind of turkey from the deli for lunchboxe,s and one kid is unhappy? GUILTY.
Guilt is a constant companion this time of year because we want to be everything to everyone all the time, and we cannot. What’s that saying? We can do anything, but not everything?
I’ve spent my entire life trying to make myself feel less guilty or not guilty, and let me be the first honest person to say it – it doesn’t work. You mess up, you feel guilty. You don’t mess up, you still feel guilty. Just accept this is how you feel now, and move on. It’s best not to let the guilt consume you. Don’t feed it your energy or attention, and it at least feels a little bit less obnoxious.
Love your car
Or buy a new one, because this is now your home. Seriously, you spend a lot of time in your car now. Make it a happy place to be. Keep it clean (but a little car vacuum and trash cans) and keep the cleaning putty in there. Make sure it smells lovely. Keep a Bogg bag with fresh towels, baby wipes, snacks, napkins, Ziploc bags, water bottles, and a blanket or two in the car. Keep your stadium chairs in the trunk, and keep your folding field chairs in there. Bug spray, sunblock, hand cream, and hand sanitizer as well. Tampons and Chapstick, a to-go bag with medications, etc. You know what you need. Your book or Kindle. Whatever, just keep it in your car so your car feels as close to home as possible.
Eat your protein
Seriously. It’s what’s going to give you energy to get through these next few months. Even if it means stopping for a protein shake, do it. Keep your energy up. You’ll need it. Veggies are good, too. You know what? Just stay out of the drive-thrus and make healthy, quick meals at home to keep your energy strong.
Embrace the moment
You will miss this.
I already miss it, and I’m living it.
Every moment of my life is a last right now with a child graduating. Every moment. There is nothing I wouldn’t give to go back and re-live everything with her. Every Friday night watching her cheer. Every homecoming day that I was rushing and overwhelmed and doing a million things at a time? I wish I could go back and really focus on enjoying those days and not worrying about the little things.
I don’t get another homecoming day with her again.
I don’t get another cheer season with her.
It’s done. It’s over. It’s ended, and it’s ending, and I didn’t appreciate those moments enough. I wish I’d embraced them more. But now that I know I feel this way, I’m making sure I don’t feel this way about anything else going forward.
Enjoy this time, because you will miss it. It’s not a lie they tell us, trying to get us to stop complaining. It’s true.
You know, I think this is why firstborn children have the ‘roughest’ life of all the kids. They were the first child, which means their parents were first-time parents, learning as they go. It makes it that much easier with the second, third, and fourth. We’ve already done it, but our firstborns were our guinea pigs, teaching us as we go.
Our second-born children? Well, they get the best of us because we don’t have to learn with them. We already know. They don’t have to teach us anything (except patience, because those second-born kids). Our firsts teach us everything. Every single little thing about parenting is taught to us by our first children.
The rest? They win.
This season is busy, but it’s okay. It’s okay to feel guilty. It’s okay to be overwhelmed. It’s okay to be imperfect. It’s just okay to feel things, okay? You’re not perfect. I’m not perfect. And fuck January and February for not giving us enough mental preparedness time this year.
Tiffany Raiford 