I’ve been away from the blog for over a week now, and I really do hate that. I have some amazing content prepared and ready to share, but it’s been a very rough 12 days in the Raiford household.
It hit. And it hit hard. I woke up 12 days ago after a lovely date night feeling just fine only to suddenly feel overwhelmingly exhausted, tired, and unable to function within an hour. I went to bed and didn’t resurface for a solid 48 hours. As suddenly as I went down, I felt amazing again. I lived with said feeling of perfectly normal for 48 hours until I suddenly couldn’t breathe. I thought I’d developed awful allergies all of a sudden. My head was so foggy and congested, I couldn’t breathe out of my nose, and I couldn’t stop my eyes from watering.
My wonderful Instagram-fam sent me dozens of allergy-relief recommendations, and my husband picked up a few for me (which did not help….probably because it wasn’t allergies!) but I only felt worse when I woke up the following morning. That was Thursday. By the time I came home from picking up our kids from school that day, I laid down on the couch and fell asleep before 5 pm, slept until 7 am, and finally had to admit I needed to see the doctor.
So….I FaceTimed a doctor using the most amazing thing ever (MDLive). I didn’t have the energy to even get up to use the bathroom (not a problem since I was so dehydrated at that point, anyway), let alone go to my doctor, so I did it online. Literally, the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.
I had Tamiflu, two different steroids, and an inhaler in less than an hour thanks to the lovely doctor I spoke with. She didn’t like my deep cough, she diagnosed me with the flu though she didn’t test me based on the whole part where we were on the phone and all that, and within 24 hours of beginning my medications, I moved.
It was a big deal.
I’m still very, very tired. I can get up and function, but I’m slow and want to sit down and rest a lot. But each day is better than the one before. On that note, however, I’ve been spending a lot of time napping and resting – and I lost an entire week of my life. I actually slept through a hair appointment I forgot I had because I had no idea what time it was, what day it was or anything like that.
I missed over a week with my kids and my husband. They were here, of course, but I basically slept through their entire lives, and I really hate that. My sweet husband picked up my share of the parenting and life-doing without complaint (because that’s just the person he is) and held down the fort all by himself.
He is exhausted, and I’m looking forward to making this up to him even though he says there is nothing to make up. I literally could not do life without this man, and I’m so appreciative of him and all he does for us every day. I know how fortunate I am to know lunches are packed, kids are taken to and from school on time, homework is done, dinner is cooked, laundry is done, and the house is clean even when I’m unable to help at all – I know so many households fall apart when mom is sick and unable to help, and I’m so thankful to my husband for being sure that doesn’t happen here and that this mom does get sick days.
So, I’m working my way to being back in action. Today I woke up for the first time at my normal time (well, I laid in bed for an hour until 6, but I was awake, so that counts, right?) and we’re back to normal-ish. Carter is sick, so we’re headed to the doctor to make sure he’s not coming down with the flu, but otherwise, it’s back to real life as normal today despite the funk I’m in.
I finish one set of my medication today, one set of it tomorrow, and two more sets of it on Thursday, and I’m so happy. It’s got me in such a funk – well, that and just not being myself, in general, has me in a funk. I don’t love it, so I’ve been looking into a few things I can do to get rid of the funk I’m in and find my inner happiness again. It’s definitely not easy when you’re working on getting over the flu – which sucks – and on four different medications when you’re someone who never takes meds because you hate the way they make you feel – but these things do seem to be helping.
While I laid in bed for more than a week, I did it with books. I read six books in the last week while I wasn’t napping. And that’s what makes my soul feel on fire and good. If you’re not a reader, I don’t even understand you. What’s more amazing than taking yourself into any world you want when you’re stuck in a less-than-desirable situation of your own thanks to the “F” word?
*Side Note: I’m not sure I’d have been able to read if it weren’t for my iPad Pro and its connecting keyboard because I can prop it up next to my face and read without using any energy to turn pages or hold a book.
Create New Goals
I may have felt a lot like I was dying for a good week, but that didn’t stop me from making new goals, creating new ideas, and taking ample notes regarding both on my phone when I had the energy to pick it up. I have a long list of really exciting new things to work on now that I’m back, and that’s thanks to focusing on new goals and exciting endeavors when I was lying in bed.
Appreciate the Little Things
As I began to feel better, this got a little easier. However, it’s not always fun to lie down and do nothing useful. All the things you’ve missed out on start to bother you, and it’s really easy to fall further into a funk because of it. I focused on the little things. Every time I felt myself feeling sorry for myself or upset that I wasn’t able to control life to the fullest for more than a week or that I wasn’t where I wanted to be at the moment, I forced myself to sit down and appreciate the little things.
I listened to my husband help our oldest with her homework, and I realized just how smart they both are and how well they work together. I listened to him make dinner for all four kids while also answering math problems, putting band-aids on booboos, and telling really bad knock-knock jokes with our six-year-old without missing a beat. I watched the sun come up over our back deck from the couch, and I really just appreciated the way the morning light hits the back of our house of glass and windows. I’ve always loved the morning light in this house, but I was really reminded just how spectacular it is when I take the time to watch it.
Once I was feeling better, I also really enjoyed listening to the day start when my husband opens the doors and windows on a beautiful morning. I swear, as materialistic as I am, the little things like this are really just my favorite.
The little things made me happy, and I’m definitely working my way out of my funk.
It sucks – for lack of a better term – to be sick and feel like this, and it’s difficult to get out of a medication-induced, flu-induced, feeling-sorry-for-myself-induced funk. But it’s getting easier every day.
Being able to stomach a cup of coffee for the first time in a while helped the funk a bit, too. Not gonna lie.