no introductions necessary

Happy Thursday!

Or, as I like to call today, happy day the kids go back to school after 16 days of Christmas break. If you’re wondering what I’m doing this morning, just know I’ll be hitting snooze too many times, showering, dragging myself into the office in my robe with a mug of hot coffee poured by my husband and ready for me when I’m out of the shower so I can work for a few hours before I take the little kids to school, and then coming home, organizing all of their bedrooms without their supervision, and reveling in the cleanliness, the quiet, and the fact that it is, once again, just me and my husband (who cleans up after himself and does not run through the house or barge into my bathroom while I’m naked in the shower while also on FaceTime with his friends and their families (sorry, Craig’s friends!) for six glorious hours while finding time to work somewhere in that six-hour schedule.

Since it’s been a while, and since the blog continued to amass new subscribers despite the fact that I took a six-month hiatus due to my lack of inspiration (different than a lack of motivation – I never seem to run out of that, and I focused my motivation on other things in 2021), I thought I’d share some fun (maybe?) facts about me for those who don’t know me yet or haven’t had the chance to read five years of blog posts to find out.

Here goes nothing…

• I recently learned that I am an omnivert, which finally makes sense and has helped me really tune into my own personality. I’m both an introvert and an extrovert, essentially. I don’t fall between – I am both. I can be such an extrovert – the life of the party – some days. Other days, I’d rather ignore all the people in the world and sit down with a book and no noise or interaction and have no contact with the outside world. I always need some introvert time at home with my family after social interactions and a busy social schedule, and I need time to recharge. Being social leaves me exhausted, and I must recharge or I am a mess.
• I require one day a week without plans to recharge. I cannot be my best self when I’m overbooked and over-stimulated…and I’m easily overstimulated.
• I am almost positive a medical professional would diagnose me with some form of OCD. I vacuum my car every single time I get out of it. I cannot go to bed or relax at night until my entire house is sparking clean – no dirty laundry, no dirty dishes, no unmopped floors, no unvaccumed rugs, no messy bedrooms or bathrooms.
• My husband and I never go to bed separately. We always go to bed together.
• I always keep the book I’m reading on my nightstand when I’m not reading, but I rarely read in bed. Bed is for two things, and two things only, sleep and sex…which also happen to be two of my favorite things.
• I have terrible road rage.
• I love to read more than just about anything else.
• I love to travel, but home is my favorite place.
• I never take no for an answer.
• I love when Mr. Raiford wears a hat…so sexy.
• I have no patience.
• The lack of common sense in the world fills me with sadness.
• I am a born and raised Florida girl – but I dislike summer. I don’t enjoy being hot. I don’t love long days. The afternoon sunlight in the summer makes me feel super down and unhappy during the summer for a few hours. It’s the color of the sun and the way it makes the world look…just sad. I’d go so far as to call is seasonal depression but in more of a ‘two hours in the summer afternoon sunlight’ depression.
• I’ll take a rainy day over a sunny day any day. I love rain. I love the clouds, the dark, the ambiance and the mood. It brings me so much life.
• I love doors and windows open kind of weather.
• I run almost every day, but I don’t actually enjoy running. Except I also love running. Does that make any sense?
• I don’t always make sense.
• My husband is 20 years consistent in his appreciation of me in jeans, a tee shirt, and a ponytail, but I prefer to dress up.
• My natural hair color is now officially silver. I don’t have any brunette left. In fact, I go to the salon every four weeks on the dot so my stylist can color my roots – but we are at the point I should probably go every 18 days or so because my hair grows fast and aggressive. Maybe I’ll make silver stylish in 2022.
• I think women should wear lipstick. If your lips blend in with your skin, I am marginally freaked out (simmer down…it’s not everyone, but it’s some people and it freaks me out).
• I am complimented regularly on two things – my skin and my appearance versus my actual age. I don’t hate it.
• I’m a restaurant snob. If you don’t have an amazing wine list and a knowledgeable staff, I don’t really want to go.
• I’m also a hotel snob. If I have to park my own car or carry my own luggage, it’s a no from me. I prefer to pay someone else to do all the work for me when I travel so that I can sit back, relax, and just enjoy my time.
• I am very brand loyal in almost every situation. Once I find a brand I love that impresses me, whether it’s a designer or a hotel or whatever, I’m fiercely loyal to it. I’m also happy to share my favorites with anyone who asks.
• I have two styles – all Lilly Pulitzer all the time from March to September and primarily black from October to February. There is rarely any in-between.
• I love to be by the water, but I don’t love to touch the water. This includes my own pool. Once other people have been in water, I find it disgusting.
• I wear shoes in my own shower because grout freaks me out. This is also why I am not a fan of having tile anywhere in the house other than bathrooms – and I always wear shoes.
• My husband ordered weather tech mats for my new car for Christmas, and it was my favorite gift to open that morning. Those things saved my sanity in the mountains on vacation when it was damp, wet, and filthy everywhere we parked.
• I cannot park a car correctly on the first try to save my damn life. Anywhere. Ever. Except, and this is random, in my garage. My car fits in my garage with about 6 inches to spare (that have to be shared between the front of the car and the back of the car) and I can whip it in there without an issue forward or back it in on the first try and without any assistance save for the 52 cameras that pop up for me to use. Give me a parking spot with no one around me and the cameras? I can’t get it between the lines. I don’t know what my life issue is, but I’m sure I should probably be embarrassed.
• My husband is almost always right – you are, honey, but I don’t want to hear you say a word about it when I wake up this morning and you’ve already read this.  
• The world is a very strange place right now. I bought my 2019 Chrysler Pacifica Limited in July of 2019 new and put 60k miles on it, and when we traded it in for the 2021 Yukon XL in November, the dealer gave me more for it than I paid for it new, sight unseen.
• I must have windows everywhere. More windows than walls (does anyone else want to just roll that one right into some Lil John, too?) in a house. Natural light. Light colors. Bright, open, and airy. Rooms with one window or small windows are such a waste.
• Our kids have never, ever come to my side of the bed if they’ve had a bad dream or don’t feel well in the middle of the night. They always go straight for daddy’s side.
• I cannot clean up vomit.
• I cringe when I see someone use the sponge from the sink to wipe down a counter or the hand towel to wipe up a spill and then place it back on the counter.
• I’m highly competitive.
• I’m sarcastic.
• One of my favorite things to do is block off a night on my calendar for us to just stay home and have a family movie night with popcorn and hot chocolate and all the blankets and cuddle with the kids and my husband.
• Our kids are funny as hell, smart, and sarcastic…and it brings me much joy.
• If I had the time, I’d read a book all day, every single day, for the rest of my life.
• Not caring what other people think of me is the best thing I ever learned to do with my life.
• No, marrying my husband was the best thing I ever did.
• I don’t cook well, but I love to chop veggies and herbs.
• I have a favorite burner on the stove, but for each pot/pan.
• I have a favorite oven (the top oven).
• We have a kitchen fridge and a full-sized fridge in our laundry room, and we still have no space in either fridge or freezer, and I’m trying to talk my husband into buying a third full-size fridge to put in the laundry room.
• My dream gift – if my husband is paying attention – is for my husband to call a plumber or whatever contractor is necessary to add a second washing machine and dryer pipe/plug situation in the laundry room so we can have a second washing machine and a second dryer in there. Laundry in a family of six is no joke (and our laundry room is so fucking ridiculous size-wise, so why not utilize it?)
• I don’t actually do the laundry, so maybe that is better worded as my dream for my husband?
• I will shut down my life and go to bed at 8:30 pm without an issue every single night.
• I need 8 hours of sleep to function.
• I ramble.
• One more…one of my favorite things to do is to keep contractor trash bags on hand so I can go into the kids’ rooms when they’re at school and throw things away/donate them. We’ve become a toy-free house this year and not one of them has even noticed that they have no toys in their rooms any longer. I find so much joy in the fact that they honestly do not even notice any of it and that they’ve all grown out of toys for the most part.

And, there you have it. All the useless, pointless facts you did not want or need to know about me right here for you to read over your coffee this morning. You will not get those 3 minutes back, but you will undoubtedly feel better about your own life after reading about what a lunatic I am.

You are welcome.