august is the official start of the fall season

Fight me.

I said what I said.

I know what the calendar says. I know how people feel about summer. I know none of the coffee shops have released any of their fall beverages yet. I know.

I just don’t fucking care. I realize it’s still 98 degrees with a feels-like of 115, and the humidity is like swimming in a bowl of soup (in my Le Creuset Dutch Oven that you better believe is already out and making said soups). But August is fall in this household, and it’s not because the weather is changing anytime soon (it’s definitely not). As a Floridian, I can assure you August is just July dressed in a parka and fleece long johns, and walking the four feet from my kitchen door into my garage-kept SUV is enough to drench me in sweat and require I take my 8^th shower of the day just to feel marginally refreshed.

Fall isn’t about the temperature for me (because, again, I’m a Floridian and we don’t have seasons). Fall is about the vibe, readers. And rest assured, the vibe changes come August first. I’m done with summer (which, incidentally, is my least favorite season). I’m done with being sweaty and hot. I’m done with everything. The kids go back to school, and the pumpkins come out. It’s the worst.

And if I have to spend my days cramming my entire life into four hours before I have to get into my sweltering vehicle and sit in pick-up lines, hot sporting events (because God forbid any of my kids decide they’d like to try an indoor sport for once), and dealing with early morning wake-ups, homework, and studying, I’m doing it with fucking pumpkins everywhere. It is the only joy in this otherwise bleak and depressing month.

I’m committed to fall in August. This season flies by, and I’m going to squeeze every possible second I can out of it. Besides, it’s unconstitutional to have football on television every weekend and not have pumpkins out.

While the rest of the country is dreading their cool mornings and their crisp evenings, I’m checking my weather app to see how much earlier the sun sets each night so that I can get back to dark evenings, football weekends, and pumpkin-scented candles while feeling like maybe, eventually, the sun will grant us a bit of mercy and perhaps a cool morning or two.

When routine returns with school schedules, fall is back. It’s my sense of calm amidst the chaos that is our family calendar. It brings me joy. It brings me comfort. And it brings me that much closer to the ‘ber months, which are absolutely the best months of the year. It’ll be over before we know it, so why not enjoy it a little longer?

So, for all you summer-loving weirdos, carry on, but the rest of us are done, over it, and have moved on to better seasons. The weather will catch up eventually, for a day or two.