We are all a little sad this week.
I think that’s probably a gross understatement. Our house of six is now a house of five, and all five of us are heavily feeling the absence of our daughter/sister. I know it will get better, and we will be okay. I know that this is not an ending, but that it’s a beginning. But I’d be lying if I said that I’m okay when I’m not.
I’m really, really sad. I miss my girl no matter how proud I am of her and how excited I am for her. Her brother and sisters miss her. Her daddy misses her. Her puppy misses her. We all miss her, but we are all so excited for her.
So, on that note, with the heaviness of such a big change on our hearts, I wanted to make it a point to show gratitude for the things that I’m feeling this week.
I am grateful to feel this sadness
I don’t like it, but I am grateful for it. Imagine being so blessed to have a daughter who is so wonderful that so many people miss her terribly. I am so grateful that we’ve raised such a wonderful young woman who brings so much to this family that we miss her this way, that we feel her absence so much. I am grateful for this sadness, because it’s a reminder that she is a phenomenal young woman who we are so incredibly proud of.
I am grateful for the time we have with our three younger kids
Now that we officially know what it’s like to watch our oldest grow up and move out, I am grateful for the remainder of the time we have with our three younger children at home. We have three more years with Ava. We have six more years with the twins. And now that we know how fast that time flies, we are so grateful that we know to slow down, savor it, and enjoy the moments while we are living them.
I am so grateful our kids are close
So many families are not. My gratitude that our four kids are so close is something that I will never take for granted. While I hate seeing them all so sad, I am so eternally thankful that they are so close that they miss one another like this. What a gift it is for us as parents to get to experience their bond.
I am grateful for 18 amazing years
I will never, ever forget the day we decided to have a baby. My husband and I were celebrating my 24th birthday in Hawaii, and he said he wanted to have a baby. He was ready to be a family. I wasn’t sure I was ready, but he was born to be a father. I remember just over a month later taking my first-ever pregnancy test and seeing the word ‘pregnant,’ and crying while we read it.
I remember going to a Florida Gator football game that afternoon with friends and family, and telling them all at the game. I remember being so excited. I remember finding out we were having a girl. I remember picking her name, and I remember the morning she was born. All six pounds and 15 ounces of absolute perfection. I remember loving her so much that I couldn’t breathe…and I’ve never stopped.
Her first smile. Her first words. Her first steps. Her first boo-boo. Her first day of school. Her first time driving. Her first time driving away from home without one of us in the car with her. Her first date. Her first dance. Her first prom. Walking her across the field on homecoming night in her beautiful gown. Watching her walk across the stage to accept her first college diploma. Watching her walk across the stage to accept her high school diploma. Watching her excitement as she was accepted into every university she applied to. Watching her turn 18. Watching her thrive.
I am so thankful for every hug, every kiss, every tear, every laugh, every happy memory. I am so beyond grateful to have had a front-row seat to her life for 18 entire years.
Yes, this week is hard for all of us, but there are so many things to be grateful for even in the midst of big changes, sadness, and pride.
Tiffany Raiford 