Personal taste is subjective.
What one person considers fabulous, another person might consider a crime against humanity. And that’s the beauty of having your own opinion, I suppose. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become increasingly comfortable about admitting there are certain things I simply do not find chic.
Don’t get me wrong: Not everything needs to be universally loved. Not everything needs to be trendy. And not everything that comes with a recognizable logo, a hefty price tag, or an Instagram caption is automatically impressive. And I say that as someone who has very designer taste.
I love the trend where the ladies list the things they find incredibly un-chic. I agree with many, and I disagree with many. But regardless, I love seeing the lists and finding out what the girls are loving, hating, and absolutely not having. And it makes me want to share my own.
Remember, just because I love it, hate it, or feel particularly ambivalent about it doesn’t mean I’m right or wrong, and there’s no need to take it personally. That said…here’s what I find incredibly un-chic now that I’m 43.
The Goyard Bag
I haven’t been able to jump on this trend. I just don’t see it, get it, or find anything interesting about it. I see them everywhere, and I sometimes wonder if perhaps I’m missing something, but I suspect I’m not. I just don’t find this bag attractive. I don’t see the appeal. It’s plastic-y, a little tacky, and just not it for me. A classic example of not everything with an expensive price tag is worth it.
Giant Logos
Here’s where I’m going to be a bit of a hypocrite because I’ve owned the Gucci double G logo belt since…2016? 2017? And I wore it ALL THE TIME for a few years. And then I let my daughter have it, because it’s far cooler on her than it ever was on me. I prefer something a little more understated, a little more classic, and I think she rocks it at 18 way better than I ever did at this age. And I still carry my LV Neverfull every time I’m in the airport because it’s the perfect carry-on bag…it was my diaper bag through four children, and I’ll still tell anyone and everyone I know that it was the best purchase I ever made. But, I’ve grown to appreciate a more subtle approach to designer items. A classic, timeless belt or coat, or bag than the ones that scream, “here’s what I’m wearing,” rather than me wearing the item.
The Humble Brag
Listen…either brag and be proud of something or just don’t. I appreciate a woman who is proud of something. Tell me you did something amazing, bought something amazing, went somewhere amazing. I want to congratulate you! But the carefully designed announcement disguised as something else? Please…just brag. We are all adults here.
The “I worked hard and deserve this” announcement
Ladies…if you want the car, handbag, shoes, house, vacation, whatever, just say that. You don’t need to submit a performance review to justify purchasing something you like. Just buy it. You wanted it. You spent your money on it. Enjoy it. No one needs a motivational speech about how far you’ve come and how you earned this. Just buy it and enjoy it.
Thick Stemware
Listen, agree or disagree, but there has never been a time or a place for a glass with a thick stem or a thick bowl. Thin, paper-lite, and perfect is where it’s at. I can’t explain it, but I can tell you that it automatically just makes it better. Upgrade your stemware.
Stemless wine glasses
…why? Just…why? This needs to be addressed. I cannot drink out of a stemless glass. It ruins a glass of wine in an instant. Basic wine drinking knowledge – you never, ever hold the bowl of a glass because it affects the temperature of the wine. White should be cool and light, and holding a wine glass by the bowl warms the temperature significantly, which does affect the taste. Red is room temp and perfect, and it doesn’t need you body temp to make it unpalatable. You need a stem, and you never touch the bowl.
Comparison
This is really more about how we all need to approach life. Measuring your life against the lives of others is a guaranteed way to make you feel as though you cannot enjoy your own life. Your life doesn’t need to measure up to anyone’s expectations or opinions but your own. If you are happy, that’s the only thing that matters.
Loud Public Spaces
I don’t want to shout across a table. I don’t want live music. I don’t want to go anywhere people are milling about. You know what I want? I want to go sit at Randolph’s at The Warwick New York with a glass of champagne and quiet conversation in the dim lighting, the quiet ambiance, and the soft jazz playing quietly in the background. I don’t want to go a bar where the music is blaring. I don’t want to go places that don’t require a reservation. I want quiet, upscale, dimly lit, and ambient. I’m too old for all that noise and energy.
Impoliteness
Being confrontational, loud, aggressive, passive aggressive, and rude is not a good look for anyone. Being rude should not be a personality trait anyone aspires to. Being unnecessarily unkind is incredibly unchic. You don’t have to like everyone. You don’t have to want to be around everyone. But you needn’t go out of your way to make people uncomfortable, ruin anyone else’s good time, and be impolite. Just be indifferent. Don’t be unpleasant. You can have everything in the world going for you, but if you lack basic manners, you have nothing.
And there you have it…a completely unnecessary list of things I do not find chic but stand behind nonetheless.
I think one of the nicest things about getting older is becoming more comfortable with your own preferences. You stop feeling obligated to like things just because everyone else likes them. You stop buying things the world told you to buy. You stop comparing highlight reels. You learn what you like, what you don’t care for, and you do things that bring you joy. It’s a game changer.
