I’ve retired my customer service voice.
I was never in the customer service industry, but you know the voice I mean. The one that’s all, “Oh my goodness, no worries!” When, in fact, I have worries. The voice that might be a little higher-pitched than usual. The voice that’s telling you it’s totally fine when it’s not even remotely fine. The voice that is working overtime not to hurt your feelings even though you’re a raging moron.
Yeah, that voice.
It’s time. I’m 42. I’m actually closer to 43 than 42 at this point, and I’ve decided that 42 is the new 90 (inside…not out). I’ve decided it’s time for me to move past being politically correct and pleasant and focus instead on being everyone’s 90-year-old grandmother who says exactly what she’s thinking without a second thought. I don’t even care if it’s cute. In fact, I assume it won’t be nearly as cute coming from me as it is someone’s grandmother.
Luckily, I don’t care what the people of the world think.
Also, calm down, chat. I’m not going to be mean. I mean, there’s definitely going to be people who think I’m being mean, but that’s on you. I’m not going to be a bitch. I’m merely done trying to be nice and polite and tolerant.
I’m still going to be respectful, but I’m also done sugarcoating what I really think. Instead of finding a sweet way to tell you that you’re an idiot with sugar and frosting and confetti so your feelings aren’t hurt, I’m just going to tell you that you’re acting like an idiot in a blunter, easier to understand manner that’s just plain honest.
When did we decide honesty had to come wrapped up in a pretty bow?
Why are we all trying to explain how we feel and what we are seeing and what we need done in a way that makes it look like a happy birthday gift basket instead of just saying what we need to say? Why sugarcoat everything? Have you been in public lately? Have you spoken to anyone ever? The years of working overtime to be so polite we sugarcoat every single thing has made these people weak. They can’t handle any criticism at all. They’re crybabies. They’re…morons.
Honesty needs to make a comeback. Not meanness. Just honesty. Just be respectful while also being honest. I don’t need to tell someone, “You’re a fucking moron and a waste of breath, to be honest,” when I can say, “I find that you are an inept leader,” and get my point across just fine.
I’m not your emotional support monologue. I’m not going to say what sounds nicest and beat around the bush. I’m going to be honest, and if that hurts your feelings, that’s truly on you.
Don’t ask me to be honest with you if you aren’t ready to hear it. I’m not wrapping it up in pretty paper with a bow. I don’t have the energy for that. I’m tired. Not in an “I need a nap,” way (not that I’m turning down a nap) but in an “I have four kids and a lot of stuff going on,” way. It’s the kind of tired that’s removed my ability to pretend something makes sense when it doesn’t.
So now I’m just saying it. Respectfully, calmly, and directly.
You can find it as controversial as you want. I’m not out to hurt feelings (well…mostly). I’m out to save time and confusion. And to teach everyone to stop taking everything so personally. If you are uncomfortable, okay. Things are often uncomfortable. If you feel it’s personal, okay. It’s not personal, so perhaps ask yourself why you feel it is. That’s a you problem.
Call it simplifying. Call it making my life easier. Call it what you want. But, quite frankly, it seems that each and every day of my life I encounter more and more incompetence, and I’m convinced this is because no one will just tell people what they think. There’s an old saying.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
So here’s me being the change.
Tiffany Raiford 