friday four…

…moments I never want to forget.

(If you’re here for my regularly scheduled humor and wit, you’re going to be disappointed today. This is not your typical Friday Four.)

I’ve been a mom for almost 18 years now. Some weeks are rather ordinary. Some weeks are a chaotic mess. Some weeks are an endless to-do list of things that no one really wants to do, but someone has to do. But then there are weeks like this one…the kind I know I’ll be talking about for the rest of my life.

When I’m old and gray, sitting with my husband on our front porch rockers watching the sun set (him with a bourbon and a cigar, me with a glass of wine or a martini in hand, and a lot of quiet around us because our kids are grown and the chaotic weeks and the noise and the craziness are just a memory), this is the kind of week we’ll be talking about.

Because today, our 17-year-old daughter graduates from college with her Associate’s degree. Not ‘dual-enrolled’ in high school. Not ‘got a head start’ on her college career.

Graduated.

Fucking.

College.

At.

Seventeen.

And in less than two weeks, she’ll walk across the stage of her high school while we sit in the stands (sobbing) watching her graduate from high school Summa Cum Laude with a 4.25 GPA, with more than 200 volunteer hours, and with her National Honor Society stole.

This summer, she begins her next chapter at the University of South Florida. We are just a few short months from moving her into her dorm, and I cannot even begin to think about how we are all just supposed to give her a hug goodbye, come home, and leave her there. Long story short, my emotional stability is done for the foreseeable future.

That said, this week’s Friday Four looks a little different than usual because I’m sharing the four moments I never want to forget.

One: Watching my child become someone I admire

She’s not just someone I love. She’s someone I genuinely admire. Watching her accept award after award at senior night, hearing her name called over and over, and seeing all of the things she worked for recognized publicly was overwhelming in the loveliest way.

It’s not because of her GPA or her accomplishments, but rather because of the work she put into that. We’ve watched the late nights and the pressure she puts on herself. We’ve witnessed her admirable discipline and her determination. She shows up when no one else does, and she puts in the work.

Everyone else got to see her accomplishments, but we’ve watched the effort she’s put into all of this for the past four years before anyone handed her a stole or a cord.

Two: The bittersweet reality of raising an independent child

It’s wild to me that we’ve spent the past 17 years raising this amazing young woman, just for her to suddenly start talking about her dorm décor and meal plans when it was just yesterday she was mad at me because I gave her the wrong sippy cup. One minute I’m packing snacks for her to take to VPK, and the next minute I’m googling ‘best mattress topper for college dorm beds,’ while absolutely spiraling in my local Target.

But at the same time, I’m so proud of her I could burst (but time could maybe calm down a fucking second, please). I’m not ready to say goodbye to her, but I know she’s going to thrive on her own.

Three: Celebrating the quiet wins

This week was filled with milestones and moments that were all about our sweet Addy, but some of my favorite moments were the little ones. Our son yelling “That’s my sister!” every time her name was called at senior night. Our younger daughters getting ready together to go celebrate their big sister. The look on my husband’s face as he watched our daughter as she was honored. The smile on her face each time she crossed that stage to accept yet another recognition.

Those are the things I’ll remember the most.

Four: Addison

I’m not talking about the awards or the recognition or the titles. I’m talking about Addison. My favorite thing this week is my daughter. Her kindness and her sharp wit. Her hilarious sense of humor. Her work ethic and her heart. Her amazing ability to stay grounded while achieving things most adults struggle with.

She’s 17, and she’s already the kind of woman I’d like to be when I grow up. She’s already earned such respect from those around her, and I am so proud. As her mother, there is absolutely nothing better than the privilege of watching her grow up in real time.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be over here not even trying to pretend like I’m fine as I get myself ready to go watch my 17-year-old daughter and her best friend graduate from college.