Four years ago today we welcomed our last babies into our world. Our twins, Carter and Charlotte, were born. I was 36 weeks and 6 days pregnant when they made our debut at 3 lbs. and 5 lbs. They spent a week in the NICU, and we spent a week living at the hospital – unofficially in the room we were discharged from after two days thanks to the amazing nurses who offered it to us – and our lives changed.
Now they’re four.
Four.
I don’t even know where the time went. They are the sweetest babies. They have their moments, but we have been so fortunate with our sweet babes. They’ve always been excellent 12-hour nighttime sleepers. They’ve always been easy babies, well-behaved babies, and they don’t give us too much trouble. We are fortunate, and we appreciate every moment of their sweetness.
And in honor of their fourth birthday, I’m answering a few of the most common questions we receive about being twin parents and about twins. These aren’t Instagram-sent questions. These are walking through Publix with the twins and hearing questions from complete strangers we’ve never met in our lives. All. The. Time.
- They’re twins? But he’s taller than her! They don’t look that much alike!
Yes. This is true. Carter is taller than Charlotte. He’s also five pounds heavier, and he’s got a penis. It’s called fraternal. And yes, I’m sure they’re not identical. And yes, it’s possible to have twins who don’t look alike.
- Did you plan on having twins?
Absolutely not. Had I known I hyper ovulate, there’s a good chance we might have stopped before we had more than one at a time.
- Are they natural?
They’re not unnatural. I assume this is the “nice” way strangers ask us if we went through fertility treatments to conceive. To be frank, it’s a bit rude – and none of anyone else’s business. We all know where babies come from, so there’s that. But no, we conceived our babies very naturally. Did you want that visual?
- Did you just want to die when you found out you were having twins? I’d kill myself if I found out I was having twins and I already had two kids at home!
I’m here, aren’t I? So, no; I did not die. One baby is a beautiful blessing. Two is an amazing blessing. It might be shocking to find out there’s more than one baby in there, but it’s not suicide-worthy.
- Better you than me, right? Ha ha ha!
Yes, yes, and yes.
- Did your lives totally end when you had twins?
Nope. We lead a very fulfilling, beautiful life to be honest. It’s just a little louder, a little busier, and there’s a lot more hugs and kisses to go around, and we have a lot more laughter in our house. And we never worry about sitting by strangers on planes. We get the entire row to ourselves, and that’s a total win.
- How do you sleep?
Lying down cuddled up as close as I can get to my husband in my very comfortable bed. We are very schedule-oriented, so our kids have always been great sleepers. We’re not sleep-deprived. Even with newborns in the house, we weren’t. We’ve been very fortunate.
- Can you tell them apart?
I can’t get their names straight, but we’ve numbered them – so it works.
Really?! Yes, this is a serious – and frequently asked – question. They’re not identical. They’re not even the same gender. They don’t even have the same body parts. And besides, Charlotte has long hair and Carter doesn’t so it’s totally easy to tell them apart.
- Do they have the same personality?
No. They do not. Carter should have been named Joy. This boy is nothing but pure joy all the time. He’s always got the biggest, sweetest, most genuine smile on his face. He’s always got a hug to share, big kisses, and a massive smile on his face. Charlotte is a bit more reserved, and she has to love you a LOT before she’s going to kiss you or even share a smile with you. She also owns Carter and the big girls. Anything she wants, she looks at them and they make it happen. She’s a leader, and Carter is just along for the ride.
- Do you just love having twins?
More than anything! We were shocked, we thought it was a joke, and we weren’t sure how we’d manage two babies at one time with two bigger girls at home when we found out baby number three was baby three and four. But God’s plan is always greater than our own plans. He knows. He brings you what you need in your life and He knew we needed these babies in our lives even when we didn’t know it. He knew. And He was right. Our hearts are FULL.
We get to have the privilege of living in a household that is always filled with laughter – occasional bickering – and we are never without a little person with so much love for us that they can’t contain it. Our lives are full, and there is nothing quite like getting to watch these babies grow up together. We have so much goodness in our lives right now, and one day we will find our home filled to overflowing when our four babies and their spouses and their own babies come over for dinner, birthdays, and holidays. It’s going to be loud, crazy, and overflowing – and it’s everything we want in life.
Happy Birthday, sweet babes. You are loved.
Tiffany Raiford 